A couple of weeks ago, I praised the game Mass Effect. I’m still loving it, but Bioware, I have a bone to pick with you. What the fuck is up with Mako? Sometimes, when I’m driving this tank, trying to be careful not to drive off a cliff or somehow turned myself over in it, I’m thinking: “I CAN’T!” The tank is so sensitive to controls that you’re either overdriving or you’re doing the stop-go-stop-go motion repeatedly just to keep control.
I’ve gotten to the point where I just say, “Fuck it,” and I start driving out all crazy, running over stuff and just generally going H.A.M. in Mako. And don’t get me started on aiming and jumping in that thing. It’s a joke. People say that I should feel better that it’s less ass to drive Mako on the PC than on the Xbox 360. I shudder to think of anything possibly being any worse. It just doesn’t seem possible.
Fortunately, I hear that in Mass Effect 2 we are not subjected to the horror that is Mako. Obviously, someone at Bioware either heard the cry of hundreds of gamer women and men and decided not to torture them any longer, or someone sat down and played that shit and realized there is no using Mako without flipping a table over in frustration and rage.
And sadly, this is the only way to quickly cover ground in this game. Honestly, even walking would be better than driving this thing anywhere. Most planets present some type of hazard where I can’t stay outside the tank long enough to actually try to hoof it to my destination. Its only advantage is its awesome cannon that takes out most things with just a couple of fires. Other than that, no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
This tank won’t let me be great.
|And yes, I managed not to drive off a cliff here... but just barely.|