Sunday, July 10, 2011

[Review] The All-New Atom Vol. 3: The Hunt for Ray Palmer by Gail Simone


Rating: 0.5 (out of 5)

“Don’t thou be frontin’.” 

This line greeted me early in the comic, uttered by an Amish “driver” whose buggy is nearly sideswiped by Ryan Choi. Probably the least funny lines ever written in history. A line that warned me to leave this place and never come back, a Ducreux meme gone terribly wrong. Did I listen? Hell no. Should I have listened? Hell yes.

The comic opens with Ray Palmer walking across what, at first, appears to be some wasteland. Upon exposition, we learn that he’s shrunken down to a size that so small it’s nearly impossible for his eyes to process colors and shapes.


He no longer has his belt and has to wait for the effects to wear off to return to his normal size. He vows his revenge on those he believes betrayed him—including the new Atom, Ryan Choi. This part wasn’t actually that bad. It set the readers up for something that sounded like it would be great.

Some things can be so deceiving.
Forward to Ryan Choi who has just got back to the city of Ivy. He’s tired, a little emotionally beaten, and on a quest to find Ray Palmer. This just about where things stop being good and decide to go on the path of abject stupidity.

Just a rundown of some things.

There’s a welcome back party that gets trashed by some ridiculous villains called the Rogue Atoms, one of whom can’t believe that an old professor can bag such good-looking “broads.” You get science and philosophy quotes added to random panels. There are two warring miniature tribes in some jungle somewhere.

You have guest appearances by a few heroes like Donna Troy and the Blue Beetle who get to fight a Hitler with bat wings in a version of Heaven and Hell that resides in a tiny city on Choi’s dog’s butt. A cheesy fight between two Z-list monsters who are actually trying to mate. And there is one really random scene where everyone starts acting like they’re in the 70s or whatever.

Long story short: I want the part of my life I spend reading this crap back. It tries too hard to be cute, funny, and hip, which resulted in the story seriously lacking. Not all the things I mentioned necessarily make for a bad story. I’ve read much odder and have come out much more satisfied. This just seemed to be clamoring to me most of the time.

Admittedly, Ryan and his friends are geeks, and you expect them to make stupid jokes that aren’t funny. However, there was nothing endearing or charming about it to add to the characters. It was annoying, distracting, and stupid, making the story about as fun and funny as listening to my grandmother read a how-to manual on rock pets.

And it was probably intentionally over-the-top to add to the cheese factor, but it backfired. I can’t recommend this to anyone in good faith. I would feel like I’m sending someone to their death if I did. I don’t think I ever want to read another Atom comic after reading this. I did get it .5 of a rating because I liked the beginning, and I liked the talking head. Everything else was tripe.

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This blog is a mishmash of thoughts, pictures, and rantings among other things about games I've played, games I will play, and games I am currently playing. From time to time, I may post book reviews that I've written that are about different games and/or game worlds. Feel free to recommend games or add me on the platforms I've listed. I don't do competitive multiplayer much anymore, but I'm always down for some co-op these days. I'm usually DigitalTempest everywhere unless otherwise specified.

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2016 Reading Challenge

2016 Reading Challenge
Tiara has read 6 books toward her goal of 52 books.
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Tiara's bookshelf: currently-reading

The Elfstones Of Shannara
tagged: upcoming-reads, currently-reading, 2016-audiobook-challenge, classi...
Gardens of the Moon
tagged: currently-reading, fantasy, z-narrator-ralph-lister, 2016-audiobook...

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Tiara's bookshelf: read

Deceived
really liked it
Review to come.
tagged: 2016-star-wars-reading-challenge and 2016-audiobook-challenge
The Girl from the Well
liked it
More reviews @ The Bibliosanctum TL;DR Review 2.5 to 3 stars. Not badly written… I’m just disappointed by the squandered potential. I’m going to reread Anna Dressed in Blood to make myself feel better about this Longer Review: T...
tagged: 2016-women-of-genre-fiction-reading, horror, and young-adult
Thirteen Reasons Why
I don't think this quite captures the complexity of bullying and suicide, and some of the issues that Hannah started facing toward the end of the novel really seemed to detract even more from the feelings she was going through by having ...
tagged: young-adult, popsugar-2016-reading-challenge, 2016-audiobook-challe...
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
liked it
Spoiler free review to come.
tagged: 2016-star-wars-reading-challenge
The Phantom of the Opera
really liked it
tagged: classic-horror, classics, audiobook, 2016-audiobook-challenge, horr...

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